Tina's not-so-secret diary 📓🔓

[19:37] When I heard Riza's family screaming obscenities at her over the phone earlier, I cried in mortal terror. I have never experienced anything of the like before, and I HATE the fact that she has to just stand there and take it. Not just tonight, but for a literal DECADE, chat! 10 fucking years, she's had to take this abuse. And worse! All I could do was sob and mutter "please stop" inaudibly, knowing that even if I were audible, it wouldn't stop. I cried so hard, so did she, but this just galvanised my hatred for her family and strengthened my resolve to get her out of that house if it was the last thing I did. It made me fall in love with her MORE. I may have dropped the ball on a few matters in the past, but this is new. I will not abandon her to her own personal hell. Nobody abuses my girlfriend on my watch and gets away with it. Soon, she will be in my arms as I whisper "you're safe, you're safe now".

So, it would have been nice to move out to the coast to be with her, but we can still do great things together here on the plains. We can go to Nature Preserve Park and just walk until we drop. We can go to Peanut Shaped Park and kiss on the bench swings. We can go to the clothes giveaway at the unitarian church and get some sweet fits for free. I can drop her off at work before going to my own job. We can have the life we were going to have out there, here. Love is going to win and there's nothing anyone can do to stop it.

[09:42] I didn't think it was possible to fall in love with Riza even harder, but last night she showed me that, yeah I can.

[19:18] Every time I look at my girlfriend's pictures, I fall in love more and more. When we met, I never imagined this. I was so happy being her friend, I loved her more than any of my other friends. When she admitted she had feelings for me, I realised that I have feelings for her too. After I spent most of last night and early this morning thinking about her, I realised that yeah— I'm in love. She means so much to me I have no words to describe it. Her happiness is so important to me. We were planning on being roommates even before we admitted our feelings. Throughout my whole life all I've had in my future were vague or nonexistent plans, but this is not vague, this is not nonexistent. This is a solid, definite, achievable goal. She has supported me more than anyone ever has and now we're both giving each other reasons to live. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH, RIZA!! I love you so much...

[13:40] Since my last entry here, I've managed to amass a middling amount of a stockpile. It has mostly pasta and rice with some scattered tins of things here and there. Suffice to say, I want for nothing in the meatless chili department. R is concerned I haven't gotten a multivitamin yet, and I'm looking for one. I really am, it's just everyone marks those up so much. Depending on where you go, you might end up paying 50% to 200% more. I'll check out my regular grocery store, as they have sales on those rather frequently. In the meantime, it's so cold in here! I left my ceiling fan on and now I'm shivering.

What is this doing on the unlinked diary page when it's so commonplace then? Well... I don't really know. I guess I just needed something here so I could archive October.