So, basically, Riza got RPCS3 running on their computer and introduced me to Yakuza 3. I'd already seen Yakuza 1 and they wanted to try out the emulator a bit beyond just us playing Minecraft. Well, in their own words, "It was all going well until the forced golf minigame...". Yes, that's right— this game requires you to play golf with a city council member on Okinawa in order to sort of gather information about stuff (spoilers, shan't go into them). Really, it doesn't matter how well you perform in the minigame, you just have to play golf with him in order to advance. Anyway, since he so generously offers to give you a visitor membership to the country club, you can go back and play as much golf as you want to! Isn't that GREAT? The controls are completely fucked. It's not well described anywhere that you have to hold onto the X button in order to register your backswing, and even then the game is really bad about shot placement and ball flight. I mean, right, it's not a golf sim, is it? But still, it's comical how bad the golf minigame is, and it's completely compulsory your first time round!
Riza also discovered their screenshot program has a screenrecord feature, so they passed me the gamepad and recorded my performance on Hole #1. Which is what you see here. I was accustomed to Mario Golf, where you have to press Action in order to register both your swings (press A once for the backswing, press A again for the downswing). That is not the case here. Plus, the timer is way too fast. Probably Sega was trying to stop people playing a perfect game like in Mario Golf (which, admittedly, is pretty much not how golf works either). Riza and I were basically howling with laughter about how frustrating the game was when they tried it for the mission. Basically, it's trying to duplicate the frustration of playing real golf.
When the video was done, Riza decided it would be funnier if they sped it up and put comedic music over it (since Spectacle doesn't record audio so far as we know, just video). I suggested "The 12th Street Rag" and the "Tiger Rag" as public domain possibilities. However, "12th Street Rag's" association with SpongeBob SquarePants has thrown its public domain status down the loo. Honestly, "Tiger Rag" (a dixieland standard from the Original Dixieland Jazz Band) works better here.
We have our mutual friend, JaidenLE, to thank for the old-timey interstitial card idea. Thanks, Jaiden!
Edited by gremlin. Gameplay and titling by badgraph1csghost. Music by the Original Dixieland Jazz Band. Special thanks to JaidenLE.