Kottrell

B-list celebrities become Z-list parents.

- Content warning: Pregnancy mention

Modest Mansion
Sort of a cross between a tract house and a new-wealth countryside mansion, this house splits the difference by being simultaneously impressive and off-putting.

Bedrooms: 3
Bathrooms: 2
House type: McMansion
Max. occupancy: 6
While the ground floor is somewhat impressive, the first floor is informed more by suburban tract housing than a mansion. Was I getting tired of building houses that day? Probably.

Konna
Former swimsuit model, Konna's had two sets of twins, but you'd never know it to look at her. While parenthood has put a stop to her modelling career, it hasn't affected her booming self-help empire in the least.

Astrological sign: Cancer
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Kai
Kai hasn't adjusted to family life as easily as Konna. Some in Studio Town even say that he takes acting jobs just to stay away from home for extended periods of time.

Astrological sign: Aquarius
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Kaidence
No one is quite sure where Kaidence's bully habits came from, but he definitely gets his blue eyes from his father. Well, to be fair, he probably gets his bully habits from his father, too.

Astrological sign: Leo
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Kaylee
The polar opposite of her twin brother, Kaylee loves plushies, kitties, puppies, birdies, pretty much everything that ends in "-ies".

Astrological sign: Leo
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Keely
No, not "Kelly"... KEELY. If she had a simoleon for every time her student ID had to be returned because it said "Kelly Cottrell", she would have... oh, let's see, how many years has she been in public school...? 'Cos it's happened EVERY YEAR.

Astrological sign: Cancer
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Karson
"Now presenting, Number Forty-Seven, Karson Kottrell!" So he hears in his imagination every time he takes the football pitch. Some adults say that sport is their life, but it really HAS been Karson's, seeing as his first toy as a baby was a miniature basketball.

Astrological sign: Cancer
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Konna Hastings was a rising star in swimsuit modelling, Kai Kottrell was a stuntman trying to break into leading roles. Their paths crossed when Konna was cast in the under-five role of "Woman Behind Counter #2" in Okay, Maybe I Was Curious, in the same episode where Kai was stunting for Steven Saturday. On a whim, after wrap, Kai invited her to the nightclub with him and his mates later on that evening. Having nothing else to do, she agreed; however, only one of his mates showed up—and he received an urgent call from his agent shortly after arriving. This left Kai, Konna, a number of mixed drinks, and constant pulsing electro-house alone all night. They ended up going back to Kai's apartment and having sex. They carried on seeing each other, and each time they promised each other they wouldn't shag this time... and each time they failed to keep their promise. Kai was having trouble securing lead parts, always ending up either stunting or playing an under-five; also, Konna was becoming weary of the life of a swimsuit model and began writing a self-help book. In more or less of a publicity stunt, they got married. They liked each other just fine, and the sex was great, but to say that either of them loved the other was just not true. However, relative to nothing other than bad timing, Konna got pregnant shortly after their wedding day and had twins 38 weeks later. Plainly, her modelling career was over whether she wanted it to be or not. On the twins' 1st birthday, both of the kids fell asleep promptly at 21:41, so Kai and Konna decided to have sex again, for the first time since the twins were born. Well... what do you know? One night was all it took to get Konna pregnant again, with—wait for it—yes, that's right, a second set of twins. Fortunately, Konna's self-help book, which she finished during her first pregnancy, ended up selling like hotcakes, and she'd decided to expound upon the concept of the "overself" that she had introduced in the first book, coming up with enough material for a second one, and a third. Kai, in the meantime, was getting leading roles at last, but in second-rate films by unknown directors; slasher horror mostly. While shooting The Pumpkin Man, Kai played the love interest, the masked villain, and was the project's only stunt performer. This project kept him away from home for the better part of 2 months, whereupon he discovered that, despite being able to brag about his kids, he didn't actually like being a father all that much.

The kids aren't benefitting from their parents' absenteeism all that much. For months at a time, Konna is away on the lecture circuit and Kai is shooting film after film. While Konna and Kai make a concerted effort to be at home for holidays, only seeing one's parents at pesach, rosh hashana, yom kippur, and chanuka is somewhat less than adequate. Kaidence has been acting out a lot more than usual, and was even sent to in-school suspension for destroying his teacher's computer. Since being moved from Mrs. Stein's class to Mr. McManaman's, his behaviour has become nearly untenable and he's spent more time sitting on the bench outside the principal's office than he has in class. Apart from simply feeling abandoned by his parents, he also misses his twin sister, Kaylee, who is still in Mrs. Stein's class. Kaylee acted as a buffer for him without the teacher realising it; even though Kaidence would tease her occasionally, he teases everybody and he loves his sister very much. At home, they use each other as substitutes for their parents, and spend most of their time doing something together. The only person Kaidence doesn't mistreat seems to be Jenny Meecha. He overheard the vice-principal and guidance counsellor talking about Jenny's home life while he was waiting for the principal one day and he realised that she had the same problems that he had.

Keely and Karson, on the other hand, being a year older than Kaidence and Kaylee, tend to assert their seniority over their siblings. Keely learned how to use the microwave oven and coffeemaker on the internet and "cooks dinner" for her family when their parents are away—all she does is reheat TV dinners and make instant soup, but it gives her a sense of accomplishment. Karson has tried to repair things on occasion. When he attempted to "tune up" the first-floor toilet, however, he broke the toilet tank and caused a flood. Not knowing what else to do, he ran outside and flagged down Alexa Lauper, who came in and helped them clean up the mess (incidentally, this was the event that convinced Alexa she did not want to have children of her own). She rang an acquaintance from work at the hardware store and asked him to bring over a new toilet tank and the tools required to install it, which she did herself. She congratulated Karson for his initiative, but told him not to mess with things when he doesn't know how they work.

Little did Alexa realise, Karson would immediately go to the computer and watch plumbing repair videos on MeeVee.

The Kottrell's marriage is based on all the various marriages of convenience that seemed to happen a lot back when The Sims was new. Every month, it seemed like Entertainment Tonight was reporting a new celebrity couple getting married, with a segue to the previous month's celebrity marriage ending in divorce. I don't really know if it's gotten any better since then, but it seemed like celebrities (A-listers mostly) would only marry each other for the publicity. It was like, marriage was just another acting job; they did it because their fans expected them to, not because they loved each other. The other thing was, they had SO MUCH MONEY, they could just marry and divorce on a whim. Hire a team of celebrity wedding planners to create a whizz-bang ceremony that would bring the house down, just so they could play house on the cover of Vogue for a few months before getting divorced in another media circus. The only thing keeping Kai and Konna together is the complete lack of anything resembling divorce in The Sims.

I don't much care for the "dysfunctional family" trope. This is typically used for laughs by trivialising psychological trauma within a family unit. For this reason, I decided the Kottrell kids have all learnt how to function without their parents. They have a nanny, but she can't be there all the time, which leads to Keely and Karson taking up the roles of mum and dad.

I'm not just selecting all these names at random. So far in a lot of these outlines, I've been using carefully-selected names of places in Sims canon, as well as the family names of other sims. Konna's maiden name is Hastings, just like Eliza Pancakes. The implication is fairly obvious here; Eliza and Konna are related somehow. Given the games' timelines, it would be appropriate to say that Konna is Eliza's paternal aunt. I may have just created an anachronism saying that, but I'm sure someone will let me know sooner or later.

Also, I feel it's necessary to mention that none of their middle names begin with the letter "K". In fact, "Kai" isn't even Freddy's real name. Apparently, when he registered with the Screen Actors Guild, there was already a Fred Kottrell on file, so he assembled "Kai" from his middle name, "Calvin".

    • Konna Veronica Hastings-Kottrell

    • Frederick Calvin "Kai" Kottrell

    • Keely Veronica Kottrell

    • Karson Frederick Kottrell

    • Kaidence Marion Kottrell

    • Kaylee Melissa Kottrell