Kosher category: Dairy
Prep time: 1h35m - 1h45m
Labour intensity: High
Crust dough.
In a food processor, if your processor has a dough-kneading blade, equip it. Otherwise, the standard blade will do.
Add the water, yeast, and sugar to the processor basin and clamp the lid in place, then let sit for 20 minutes.
After this time, add the flour and the salt to the basin, then process the ingredients until they form a dough-ball.
In a large mixing bowl, add ~1 tsp oil and spread it around the bottom of the bowl only! Do not go up the sides, because the dough will need to climb the sides of the bowl in order to rise. Remove the blade from the processor, then get your hands wet and remove the dough from the processor basin, gathering it into a rough ball shape. Place the dough into the mixing bowl and cover the bowl with a plastic grocery sack, placing the sack's handles down. To achieve an airtight seal, simply twist the handles shut and use the bowl's own weight to pin them against the counter. Allow dough to rise for 1 hour.
The grocery sack is large enough to contain the entire bowl and stiff enough not to interfere with the dough as it rises. You do not need to add oil or flour to the sack's interior.
Pizza sauce.
Open a tin of tomato sauce and pour into an empty yoghurt container, then add the spices. Stir to combine.
You will only be using 1/2 cup of this on the pizza, but you can make spaghetti with the rest. Or another pizza. It's up to you.
Also, don't worry about the chili powder and tabasco. This isn't going to make the sauce hellfire hot. It isn't even going to make it slightly piquant. All the chili powder does is add flavour to offset the otherwise bland crust and the tabasco just activates the chili powder.
Finally, absolutely don't use any more than 1/16th of a teaspoon of cinnamon, otherwise it'll overpower everything else and your pizza will just taste like spicy cinnamon. If you don't have an 1/8th tsp measuring spoon, then just use the very tip of a 1 tsp measuring spoon. I really can't overstate how little cinnamon you need, but you DO need it. Trust me.
Pizza toppings.
That's the only constant here. The rest of the toppings are limited only by your imagination. Some toppings I've had luck with in the past include...
Assembly procedure.
On a large cutting board (or, ideally, a sterilised bare countertop) sprinkle surface with flour. On a cutting board, cover the entire surface; on a countertop, cover an area about 16" square.
After the dough has risen for an hour, preheat the oven to 400F. Get your hands wet and transfer the risen dough to the worksurface, placing it into the centre of the surface. Wash and thoroughly dry your hands, then coat a rolling pin in flour and also sprinkle flour on top of the dough ball. Roll the dough out to ~2in thick. This should have produced more dough than can fit on a 12-inch pizza pan, so measure 12 inches and cut the excess off to obtain a 12-inch disc of pizza crust.
Sprinkle cornmeal onto a 12-inch pizza pan. Lightly fold the crust dough in half and transfer it to the pan setting it down so that half the pan is full, then unfold the crust.
VERY IMPORTANT!!
Once the crust has been set on the pan, DO NOT MOVE IT OR PRESS ON IT! You can lightly mould the edges to more acceptably fit onto the pan if they drape over the sides, but do not apply pressure to the crust at this stage. If you do, then you will risk the pizza sticking indelibly to your pan, which will require you to destroy the pizza in order to get it off when it's done baking. So, don't move it, capisce?!
Pour a small amount (approximately 1 tsp) of oil onto the crust, then use a light touch with your hand to spread it around the surface. Remember to spread oil onto the exterior ring where you intend to hold the sliced pizza.
Add 1/2 cup of prepared sauce to the crust and spread it around, leaving an inch around the periphery free for holding later.
Add desired toppings, then add grated cheese. When pizza is dressed and looking beautiful, bake in the preheated oven for 15 minutes or until cheese is a light golden brown.
When pizza is done, remove from oven and let stand on the pan for 10 minutes. If you wish, you can lightly shimmy the pan about to make sure the pizza hasn't stuck.
Clean the flour and raw dough off your cutting board and transfer the cooled pizza to it, then cut into 8 equal wedges. Any leftovers can be refrigerated and eaten cold for a true "Mario Kart 64 on the morning after the sleepover" experience.