Is your life spiralling out of control? Do you feel like every succeeding day is more of a futile waste of time than the last? Make scones about it!
Equipment.
3-5 quart mixing bowl
Measuring cups
Measuring spoons
Baking sheet
Residential oven
Your own two impeccably-clean hands
Ingredients.
3 cups all-purpose flour (bleached, unbleached, whole wheat, whatever)
4.5 teaspoons baking powder
1/4 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1/3 cup sugar
1/2 teaspoon each of cinnamon, nutmeg, cloves, & allspice
1/3 cup semisweet chocolate chips
1/3 cup chopped walnuts (optional)
1/2 cup cooking oil
1 cup milk
Instructions.
Preheat your oven to 400°F.
In a large mixing bowl, combine flour, baking powder, salt, and baking soda. Mix with a fork.
To the dry ingredients, add the sugar, spices, and chocolate. Mix with the same fork.
To this, add oil. For best results, mix with a pastry cutter, however you can just use the same fork you've been using if you don't have one. Mix until the dough is sort of the consistency of dry oatmeal.
To this, add the milk. If you're using a pastry cutter, use it to start the process of mixing. If you're using a fork, just use your hands to mix the dough with the milk. At some point, even with the pastry cutter, you're gonna want to just use your hands anyway, because the dough gets too stiff to carry on using tools. Mix until all the milk has been absorbed into the dough and the dough is doughy, as opposed to dry and flakey. You can tell the dough has been worked enough when it stops sticking to your hand.
Grab off a hunk of dough, approximately 1/2 cup's worth, and roll it into a ball like it's Play-Doh. Then, smash it flat between your palms and set it onto the baking sheet. Repeat this until all the dough is gone.
Put the baking sheet into the oven and bake the scones for 20 minutes.
Take the scones out of the oven, but leave them on the baking sheet. Let stand 5 minutes. Eat with a glass of milk, a cup of coffee, or a cup of black tea.
--28 July 2024--
