Tina's Walking Journal 🌳🚶🏻♀️🏡
Archive
April 2025.
April 20 2025
Days since military dictatorship: 1
Temperature: 45°F
Condition: Overcast
Wind: Moderate from the northwest
Even when I do get the new used car my mum's friend promised, I can't go to the park in it. I can't guarantee the AI system in charge of directing ICE arrests isn't going to hallucinate that my name is "Martína Rodriguez" or that I'm an undocumented immigrant from Canada.
The windstorm we had a few days ago blew the spinning mushroom-cap off one of the roof vents. It's sitting in the backyard looking lonely and forgotten.
#2 moved out yesterday. They took their last U-Haul full of belongings away today. Can't say I blame them, their youngest is about 7 months old and they need the space of a detached house.
For whatever reason, the landlord didn't spring for a carpet pad anywhere but the stairs when the new carpet was installed. Now the stairs are unbearably springy and spongy while the landings are hard. That's kind of the opposite of what needs to happen.
That random-ass endtable that showed up on the landing one day last year got moved to the other side of the corridor. I moved it back because it gets in the way when I have shopping bags otherwise.
April 17 2025
Temperature: 75°F
Condition: Particulates
Wind: Moderate from the south
Listening to: #10 getting his furnace replaced
My jogger thighs are going away :( I guess between Passover and Scrotus Maximus, I haven't been walking at all, so I guess that's my fault. Stair runs will do the job more efficiently than a 1/2-3/4 mile walk. Maybe. Anyway, it's all we've got.
The carpet in the corridors got replaced a couple days ago, now it looks like a cheap motel and smells like a new office building in here.
There's a water beetle on the ground floor landing. He doesn't look so good... probably it's the exterminator's spray that got him, he doesn't look trod on.
I can tell I haven't done this in a while. I can't even run up the stairs like I used to. Well, not yet anyway.
April 15 2025
Trump is just having random people arrested off the streets now. So it's stair runs from now until eternity, I guess.
April 7, 8 2025
I went out for strolls both of these days, but I didn't write about them. On the 7th, there was a tour bus for some university athletic team to go to a meet somewhere, on the 8th there were so many rabbits about. Otherwise, nothing noteworthy happened.
April 6 2025
Temperature: 27°F
Condition: Clear
Wind: none
Listening to: Zero Dark '80s: Pop Hits for Nighttime
The sun's actually coming up. I figured I could go out later than normal, being it's Sunday. No one's around. No one's going to be around for at least another 2 hours.
My shadow is blue. This time of the morning, every shadow is blue.
It always smells like men's cologne in front of this flat from the '20s. It always smells like coffee over by that fence between Numerical and the Light Pollutor 9000.
There's an empty bassinet over by that power pole next to that house's driveway. At least, I'm assuming it's empty. I would hope the people who live around here are not so cruel that they would leave their baby outside to die of exposure. That's Law & Order-level shit: makes a keen storyline for a police procedural, but it isn't very realistic. I'm not going over to check to see that it's empty. Does that make me a bad person?
New holiday lights in the sublet student house next to this frat or sorority or whatever the hell it is. The crumbly house that was next door got torn down and replaced with a carpark that never gets used back in 2017. At least, I've never seen anyone use it. That means nobody ever uses it.
"Rocket Man" by Elton John is just ending and I'm already halfway done with the circuit. I sure don't seem to be walking very far this morning.
There's been no lights on in this '70s flat or that '20s flat with the toothpaste green walls for the entire weekend. I guess they're all gone away until Monday. When I was living in the residence hall, I never stopped to think about how surreal it was that I was sleeping and eating and masturbating and playing The Sims in the same building as the people I was going to classes with. We weren't just "the graduating class" anymore, we were real live actual neighbours. Imagine living in an actual flat, built as a flat, owned by a real-estate company, lived in by non-students for 20 years, with your classmates. Holy shit, skippy, you're NOT a kid anymore. That's equal parts school and This American Life right there. It's not a dorm, it's not a frat, it's not even a sublet house like in The Sims 3. You're a Normal Person.
April 5 2025
Temperature: 34°F (wind chill of 23°F)
Condition: Mostly cloudy
Wind: Moderate from the north
Listening to: "I'm Affected" (Ramones, from END OF THE CENTURY, 1980)
This song will always remind me of Rosh Hashana 5780. Since it was the New '80s, I decided to listen to a different record from 1980 every week until Rosh Hashana 5781, and then I'd do 1981, then 1982, and so on. I should be most of the way through 1985 right now, but a couple things happened that derailed the project. First, January 6th insurrection and I tore up the 5782 list because I was convinced that Trump would leverage nuclear weapons in order to stay in power and I wasn't keen to survive that. Second, I re-printed the 5782 list, but then Youtube started killing adblockers in 5783 and I just gave up. Oh well, there's no more Devo until 5788 so what's the point? I made best-of playlists for '80, '81, and '82, but '80 is the only one that actually ended up saved locally. "I'm Affected" is track 2 on that list, after "Gates of Steel" by Devo from Freedom of Choice.
I really hate how I have to partially detransition in order to go out for walks. I sure could have picked a better time in history to trans my gender, but whatever.
Fortunately, you can immediately spot Trump hardliners by the fact they tend to drive surplus military vehicles in this state. Jeeps, supply trucks, humvees. There's one now. I can't imagine driving a humvee as your everyday car would be very comfortable or economical. But, they make it work somehow, just to show how steadfastly devoted they are to blind faith in their supreme leader.
Something in my shoe. Retaining wall is cold to sit on. Nothing fell out of my shoe, it might have been my sock folding.
There's either a strand of dim twinkling lights on that railing across the road or it's wrapped in garland. They have a Thin Blue Line flag, so I guess I don't care.
Loud vent noise coming from the science building. Has that giant fan over the door always been there? Probably. It's not the fan that's making all the noise anyway, it's not even on.
Police activity at Catholic and Numerical. I'm not going that way. I never go that way.
I'm not likely to meet a school bus this morning, it's Saturday.
April 4 2025
Temperature: 39°F
Condition: Partly cloudy
Wind: none
Listening to: Atari Supremacy: 70s & 80s synthpop
I have to take out the rubbish this morning in advance of the exterminators coming round later today. It's another chilly morning. There'll be a couple more of these and then they'll stop. The 2nd skip seems to be full of sticks and tree branches. I hope whoever put those there realises that the bin van will not take yard waste. This is the skip's final purpose, I fear: holding a load full of sticks and twigs forever.
There's a minifridge out here too.
Walking along Numerical Avenue to get to my usual route along Earlier Dead President Street. This is the house where the dog was trying to get my attention back in August.
Walking in the dark. Thinking about how la migra is rolling up on people and vanishing them now. I'm nobody. I'm sure the other people who got vanished thought they were nobody too. Except I'm white. They won't notice that I'm white until I've already seen too much and they cap me in the skull before dumping my body in the drainage ditch. Schutzstaffel ass agency. You think "customs enforcement", you think people with clipboards standing at border crossings looking for contraband.
Why the hell am I thinking about this? Trump won this district. There's no place in this country that's safer than right here.
A fox ran across my path, only about 15 feet away from me. I wonder if this is the same fox who lives in that storm drain on Numerical and Dead President? She didn't see me.
If Ice decided to try and vanish me, would they care if I ran inside that church over there? It's a Christian church, not a mosque or a synagogue, so would it stay their hand? FUCK. Quit thinking about this!
The school bus is back. He's changed his route up, though. Now instead of meeting me by the Spider Tree and Bug Bush, he turns here and comes back up through the alley.
There sure are a lot of huge pickup trucks around here. What is this, a hillbilly convention? Well, no... to be fair, hillbillies wouldn't drive $100.000 pickups. These are just your average, garden variety Trump hardliners.
April 3 2025
Temperature: 36°F
Condition: Partly cloudy
Wind: none
Listening to: "Flashback" (Jan Hammer, from MIAMI VICE ORIGINAL SOUNDTRACK, 1985)
If it weren't for the '80s cliché styles of Miami Vice, I think people on tumblr would like it about as much as Columbo. Sure, it's a police procedural, but the people who get arrested are always rich players who are demonstrably guilty of corrupting innocent people. It's not like something like Homicide: Life on the Street where there's a quota to meet and the villains are almost always poor Black people. Honestly, the '80s fashions are the selling point for me. Plus the music was Sofa King: On Point. (does this have something to do with the fact they used my favourite Devo song in episode 102? probably)
It looks like the fox is sitting outside her house again. Once again, turning right so I don't bother her.
Last year, I'm convinced that the girls who were staying in that house on the corner of Numerical and Dead President were leaving food out for the foxes who were living in the storm drain below their letterbox. That must be one of the most harrowing places to deliver post on our poor postal carrier's entire route! If he drops something, it goes straight down the drain.
I never thought to look before, but I can see the Light Pollutor 9000 on the front of Marty's place from the crest of this hill.
I figured out why I've been walking fast up this hill. It's releasing some kind of brain chemical that makes the rest of the route really fun, like an adventure almost.
Rabbits. That one ran away. This one seems not to notice he's in my way. I'm only about 2 feet from him and he doesn't seem concerned at all. My phone screen is as bright as I can make it, so he knows there's something behind him, but he just doesn't give a shit. He finally ran after his friend.
I forgot to take my makeup off before coming out here. Hopefully this isn't the day someone decides to stop me and shine a bright light in my face. I have a convincing cover-story though. I've never needed it. I've never been stopped. I'm never going to be stopped.
Certainly are a lot of rabbits about for how many foxes live around here. I remember there was a raccoon a few years ago who would come by to raid bins and get his ass kicked by the alley cats. I imagine the foxes either chased away or ate those cats.
"Miami Vice Theme" by Jan Hammer playing now. I wonder if I can match the song's tempo up this hill. It seems I can. It's a little fast, but at least this way I'm walking like a girl at long last. Sure am looking forward to the day when I can jog this route with my ponytail swinging behind me.
To avoid disturbing the fox, I'll go down to High Capacity Numerical Avenue. That way I can come back into the carpark from the alley.
April 2 2025
Temperature: 50°F
Condition: Overcast
Wind: none
Listening to: "Hit Me with Your Best Shot" (Pat Benatar, from CRIMES OF PASSION, 1980)
The airport weather reporting station says "fog", but what does it know.
That fox from a couple days ago is just sitting in the middle of the road. She's seen me. Well... I had planned on going down to the university first before returning through the neighbourhood, but I don't want to ruin her night. I'll just go the opposite way. So I'll get bored going the same way again, who cares? I'll get over it.
"Whole Town's Talking" by Survivor playing now. It's the perfect speed for a leisurely walking pace, kind of like "Safety Dance" or "Stayin' Alive".
I'm really enjoying the walk today, I don't know why. I don't think it's for just 1 reason though.
There's actually still a string of purple LED lights on the interior side of Halloween house's backyard fence. Otherwise, we're not celebrating anything anymore.
I like the blue-green light cast by the leaded glass chandeliere from the '50s in the stairwell of this flat. I don't want to live in this building, but I like the lights. Before they installed the Light Pollutor 9000 on that other flat, I liked looking at their chandeliere too, but now I can't look in that direction because the porch light is brighter than the sun. Imagine a flashbang grenade that never fades. If you shut your eyes and looked right at the light, you could still discern shapes through your eyelids.
Imagine living across the road from that mess. I always think about people in that other flat down the road a bit watching me out their windows. If they did that, they'd get sunspots.
No "Ghostbusters" right now, please. Next track. "Hit Me with Your Best Shot" again. What is this, a belated April Fool?
"Sucker for Mystery" by Oingo Boingo. Good enough. One time, I described this song as "imagine if someone gave Jack Skellington a drum machine", because that's exactly what this is.
Well, ok. Maybe it is a little foggy on the green here. Certainly not "Bank of the River Thames" level fog, but it's something.
Someone coming out of the frat house. He thinks I haven't seen him. He thinks I have my earphones in and am dead to the world. I do not plan to change his perception of me, but I am going to walk a bit faster. Not because of him, but because I'm feeling this hill in my thighs and calves and it's the best damn thing ever.
I wish I could run right now. 2 reasons why I can't: 1) my footsteps are heavy enough to attract attention, 2) the pavement is wet because it rained earlier. I think the last time I ran in front of people it was to get to my bus before it left back in 2020. I stepped on 2 seconds before the door closed. I run between rooms at home sometimes, but I feel like I really need to run for an extended length of time.
That fox is still sitting there. And before you ask, she's still alive. I can tell this because she changed sides of the street, probably to avoid that car that drove by a minute ago.
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