Without doxxing myself or jeopardising anyone's privacy, there's this woman who lives across the carpark from me who has singlehandedly done more to improve my self-image than 10 years of Tumblr posts. Artist's interpretation:
Let's call her "Nicole", shall we? Because her short hair reminds me of '90s Nicole de Boer, I don't know her real name (nor am I interested in finding out), and I don't want to keep calling her "the woman" all the time. She is pictured here wearing a long, sleeveless, rather low-cut dress, as I saw the real Nicole wearing 2 days ago. I drew her hands behind her back because I had other things I wanted to do today.
As a big girl, myself, it's hard to find any role models, because all the available role models for women are... well... models. Thin, often blonde, conventionally-attractive women comprise basically the sum total of what the corporate feudal state considers a "woman". Nicole doesn't look like a supermodel—she looks real, and this has made me feel so much better about my own figure.
I've seen her wear clothes that the corporate feudal state would prefer only size-4 women wear, and she has Rocked. Every. Fit. I've seen her in that form-fitting dress, a nude-coloured tank top and leggings, Daisy Dukes and a halter top, business casual khakis and a blouse, dungaree shorts with a bikini top, and plain old jeans and a teeshirt. There isn't a single outfit I've seen her in that hasn't made me stop what I'm doing, run my hands down my sides to my hips, and think "I look like that. I can wear that."
Like I said a couple entries ago, being fat turned out not to be the death sentence that all of my PE teachers said it would be; I don't have heart disease, I'm not diabetic, I love cooking and hiking with the same passion. So, being a woman now, I'm starting to see the effects of the predatory (and wholly corporate feudal) diet industry more clearly. 10-year-old girls being taught that fat is ugly, starve yourself to be beautiful, count calories, cut all sugar and fat out of your diet—it's all very tiresome. It is possible to be both fat and healthy simultaneously. These are not mutually exclusive, and they happen a lot more than some cottagecore shiksa in a $10.000 kitchen would have you believe. When my figure gets more feminine, I'll be glad to be a role model for other big girls, no matter how many barnyard animals I get compared to. Trust me, I've heard them all.
--19 July 2024--