2026 June 30: 23:05
i cant stand sleepless in seattle. what kind of lesbian am i, i cant stand sleepless in seattle?

i mean rosie o'donnell's casual transphobia at the beginning doesnt help matters

2026 June 30: 17:40
Jax coming out during Pride Month wasnt exactly on the 2026 Bingo card but...

2026 June 28: 14:32
I guess Goose's whole schtick of hiding inside references and clues in Amazing Digital Circus stuff is catching cos I find myself doing it too.

For one thing, the music behind this blog post's narration track is a long improv piano solo. The blog post is mainly about Jax, and Jax played the piano. The outfit I dressed Jax in here is the same one Gooseworx gave her in her first bluesky post after part 9's release to streaming. I'm certainly putting little touches like this into the fanfic. If you've created TADC fanwork, you're probably doing the same. It's impossible to resist, is what it is.

2026 June 28: 09:32
Mullvad AB, developers of the Mullvad VPN service, are supporters of the fascist Örebo Party, whose political stances include mass deportation of immigrants and anti-Muslim discrimination. Thus ends my recommendation that you use their software. I've removed the link to their website from my Go Somewhere...Else button array and the recommendation on the How to Use a Computer guide. I'm sure I have other references to it scattered about my site, so if you find them, you can ignore them.

2026 June 27: 11:40
i'm currently sending this swapnote over netpass

or, without the text...

2026 June 27: 10:34
bobby prince died last week 😢
i like to pretend this didn't happen but doom 93 had the most immediate and thorough effect on my music composing style since american idiot. if you know about music theory then you may have noticed my frequent use of the 12-bar blues chord progression to get myself out of awkward positions. that's thanks entirely to bobby prince's score to doom.

fun fact: my first exposure to doom was the snes version played on zsnes. i couldn't make it work on snes9x, but it ran well enough for me on zsnes (not like 60fps or anything, more like 15, but i'm used to frame drops from being forced to play the sims on unsupported video hardware every generation). bob and paul at sculptured software used monotonal samples of GUS patches to do the music, which otherwise was just MIDI conversions of bobby's original score, because the gravis ultrasound was the most popular daughterboard (next to the sc55 midi module) to play doom with. and it's interesting just how much of GUS's midi canvas was ripped off from e-mu and roland. strings ensemble? proteus 1. grand piano? proteus 1. solo orchestral instruments? u220 or sc55. synth effects? sc55 and korg m1. i dont think gravis did a single new recording that wasn't just a sample range from other modules.

how do i know this? soundfonts mainly. i have the GUS library and roland sc55 in sf2 form, exb versions of the proteus 1 and 2, and a vst recreation of the korg m1 that is apparently so similar to the original hardware that you need a spectrum analyser to tell the difference. plus ive got like 20 years of game music sound recognition rattling around in my head. so when i did that "hq remaster" version of "at doom's gate" snes version on tumblr awhile back, i recognised the e-mu proteus 1 and roland u220 immediately.

2026 June 25: 20:47
riza experienced mask-off transphobia at work today and it's upsetting both of us. them more so, obviously, because they had to be there for it. but it's like, mind your business. they got hauled into a whole-ass meeting with their direct supervisor and manager to be told "you can't wear your purse, people will think you're stealing." they told me they had to use every ounce of restraint not to tell them to fuck off and walk off the job right then. honestly, if they had, i would understand. how can anyone possibly be expected to continue functioning at work after getting told, essentially, "this is too different, we don't like it, stop it immediately"? stealing indeed. have they SEEN how deep those uniform vest pockets are lately? and they're gonna complain about her purse. especially after i have personally seen cis women employed with that company wearing their purses on the job, this strikes me as calculated. "we are an equal-opportunity employer, we don't tolerate any discrimination here", yeah well it's perfectly easy to say that as long as it's pleb vs. pleb. it's not so easy to claim discrimination when it's the management doing it. riza's not getting paid enough for this shit. the company doesn't realise how LUCKY they are to have them working there; it seems to me sometimes like they're the only one giving Shit 1 about the rest of the team. if they walked off the job tomorrow, the entire section would fall apart in a matter of hours.

the worst part is, i just applied to that company today. i am sorely tempted to withdraw my applications and tell them to go fuck themselves.

(EDIT: riza is now listening to "take this job and shove it" by dead kennedys if that tells you anything)

2026 June 25: 11:44
>be me
>start writing a tadc fanfic on wordpad in windows 7
>don't have to worry about web formatting because wordpad never does auto quotes (changes "" to “”, or rather doesnt change because it's wordpad)
>decide to move the project over to debian for awhile because laptop and i need to get out of my room
>carry on editing the same file in abiword on debian
>abiword does auto quotes which is gonna fuck up my web formatting because neocities' code editor fucks those up on gecko-based browsers like my humble installation of librewolf
>go back and forth editing this file on wordpad and abiword a few times
>return to wordpad
>WORDPAD WINDOWS 7 NOW DOES AUTO QUOTES FOR SOME REASON????

I guess it's possible this is a function of some Unicode bidi character, but since those don't print to the screen, i would have to look at the code to find out and honestly i dont care enough.

2026 June 22: 19:00
my immediate concern is that some studio executive is going to look at all the money that the amazing digital circus made in the cinema, grab a sack full of cash and shove it in glitch's face going "hey, we're gonna buy this from you for five fucktillion dollars". like netflix. they order 4 more episodes, then a 2nd series. gooseworx says "nope, fuck this shit" and bows out, leaving the executive production role up to the studio to fill. the voices all get recast, half the show gets AI-generated, all the characters get sanitised, jax gets resurrected as a love interest for pomni, there's some "ralph breaks the internet" shit that happens, and the series loses everything it built up over the first 9 episodes.

i think goose needs to file some serious restraining orders like right now. rout the corrupt forces of corporate feudalism before they can strike.

2026 June 22: 13:36
look, i get it. i understand that a lot of trans people die in the closet. i was almost one of them. and having jax die in the closet is thematically relevant to her whole character. however, it just so happens that loads of other media happen to introduce token queer people whose only purpose is to die onscreen to advance a theme (usually the writers' thinly-veilled queerphobia). the overarching term for this is "bury your gays".

my mum has a saying: "the medium is the message". however, jax's message got lost in the medium. jax's message got consumed by the "bury your gays" effect.

so what was jax's message? it's the same as ribbit's and kaufmo's. they isolated and then killed themselves. ragatha and pomni were there for each other. zooble and gangle were there for each other. kinger was in his own little world. jax intentionally isolated himself because of what he did to ribbit, and kaufmo, and what he was doing to ragatha. the message was, don't swat away the hand that reaches out to you, and, if you do swat it away and the same hand comes back more than once, that's a friend.

but, most people won't care about that, because they only pay surface-level attention to media. as it turns out, i was one of them. i have in fact amended my blog post to assign feminine personal pronouns to jax. i still mean what i said about "bury your gays", and i still believe she should have been able to come out, even if it was just to herself in the mirror or something. but, it's as i said in my blog post, that's what fanfic is for.

to that end, i'm going to post the first bit of my own tadc fanfic later today. i'm sure i'll regret this...

also, i'm going to leave yesterday's microblog post as it is, as a monument to my surface-level media consumption.

2026 June 21: 15:44

2026 June 21: 00:46

until this point, i always said that the amazing digital circus had a zero-effect on my creative works, that i had no interest in engaging with it beyond just watching. but a girl's gotta prove herself wrong sometimes. but yeah, this isn't a spoiler: the fanfic picks up where the show left off, basically. i'll post it here once i have the story's main jeopardy established. not here here, like the microblog here. but the website. you get it.

2026 June 20: 17:16

idk, maybe i shouldnt have used "Lines and Fences" as the background song in that one considering the song on its own has made me cry in the past. oh yes, also our internet service is back on after it went down briefly for a couple hours.

2026 June 17: 23:10
our basil plant died today. something knocked it off the shelf and made off with its pot. i know it's just a herb plant but i feel responsible. im here all day while riza is at work so i should have been watching them more closely. fortunately the coriander, parsley, and mint plants are doing ok even though the same something knocked them off the shelf too. also 2 of our 3 barn spiders are missing.

2026 June 14: 12:06

1. In light of Neocities's new local search feature, from which nothing can be excluded, I'm scaling back my semi-hidden diary section to 0. Once I've finished downloading this backup of my site, I'm deleting my entire diary archive. "Why have this section at all if you didn't think people would find it?" I DID think people would find it, but only certain people. Only the people who are following my site on Neocities itself and the people who look through the "Activity" tab at the right times. However, with the host's new "Hotcat" search feature, you can search for any keyword and, if it's on my site anywhere, including the diary archives, it'll show up. Right now, several keywords in combination with my username will yield results from the diary archives. If it were intended for general audiences, I would have linked to it on my homepage; so yeah. Draw your own conclusions.
2. Riza made us a romantic dinner last night and we listened to Changes by King Gizzard & the Lizard Wizard. That's probably my favourite album by them next to Omnium Gatherum because it's all like club jazz but the lyrics don't match the mood of the music. I've always liked to juxtapose easy-listening music with dark or cutting lyrics. But yeah, we had Beyond Beef steaks, salad, and potato chips and talked about stuff in a room lit by candles, then afterwards we watched some ATLA. It's one of their favourites and it's grown on me too. Riza is too good to me, gamers ❤️🧡🤍🩷💜
3. Talking of ATLA, that's our next datahoarding project. I reserved the DVD's from the library last night so I can back them up.
4. We have 3, count 'em, 3 barn spiders in our garden! I was a little concerned about the first one because she didn't look like she was going to take her web in before the severe thunderstorm hit last week, but she's still there. I'm thinking Mabel, Sable, and Label as names for them, after the Able Sisters from Animal Crossing. If a 4th one shows up, maybe that can be Gracie? I'll have to run it by Riza first though.
5. The job hunt does not go well. Despite how vociferously the corporate feudal state claims that nobody wants to work anymore, they certainly are discriminating about who gets to have jobs.

2026 June 7: 20:31
riza and i went out to inspect the pepper plants earlier and we found a spider in our garden! she's kinda small, but she looks like a barn spider. same general web shape and the same markings as the bigger spiders that i've seen over the past few years. anyway, she built her web in the space between the peppers and the coriander and i hope she catches lots of bugs there ❤️🕷️🕸️❤️

2026 June 7: 12:28
tbh motherfuckingwebsite.com is a little too basic. i mean like, its supposed to be obvs. but you do need at least some basic css formatting so tiny little text doesnt go all the way across the page. especially on those ridiculously widescreen gaming monitors, that's a lot of neck motion just to read a single line of text. also pictures. it stands to reason if youre not whacking your site with javascript and css all over the place, youll have loads more space for pictures. if you optimise the pictures just by resaving them as a reduced-colour png or jpg in whatever paint program you have, you can increase the space.

everyone talks about frutiger aero and how they were born in the wrong generation but their websites look like the fuckint windows xp desktop. mothefuckingwebsite.com is more true to life accurate what personal websites looked like back in the windows xp time. "ohh but tina the frutiger aero era was 2006-2012". 2 things about that. 1, there was no "frutiger aero era". someone made that up to sell you an aesthetic. also, 2, personal websites were nearly unheard of unless you were some kind of industry professional because everyone was flocking to myspace and facebook. if someone HAD a personal website, it sure as fuck didnt look like gd windows 7. so when someone comes with a tryhard website that looks like an OS desktop and tries to say "oh this is how websites looked back then"

2026 June 6: 09:50
Trans people need to use this Pride Month to get very loud about their existence and then never fade back down to normal. They want us to be quiet, so we'll get loud. They want us to get back in the closet, so we'll get in their faces. They want us to disappear, so we'll show them that we are everywhere. They want to erase us from history, so we'll show them that we've always been here.

We're also going to all get wise to FART tactics, especially in regards to dividing transmascs from transfems. Be very suspicious of anyone who refuses to use feminine pronouns for trans women and/or who insist on saying "AMAB" instead of "woman". Anyone who does that will most likely not refer to trans men as men either. "This is an AFAB-only space! No AMAB's allowed! Except transmascs of course, because you're still women, so you're fine 💅" Shit like that.