2025 Apr 27: 02:51
i don't know what it was about today that made it crawl like cold treacle, but it feels like i've been awake for days even though it's only been about 12 hours. i'm dragging like a bag of bricks and energised enough to paint the whole Eiffel tower. I'm so sleepy, I'm wide awake. When I try to sleep, I just lie there with my eyes shut, thinking about all the other shit i could do right now.

2025 Apr 26: 03:18
"im going to be transparent about my use of genAI on my website" thank you for your transparency, it makes it easier to block you.
"but i wanted my site to look a particular way--" THEN BE ARSED TO LEARN. until you can code it yourself, you can't do it.
"but it's so much data to format--" THAT'S WHAT LIBREOFFICE IS FOR. it isn't even hard to use.
"but it's not generative, it's analytical--" SAME CARBON FOOTPRINT. just because it isn't a content generator doesn't mean it's clean.
"but--" NO. dont make me tap the sign.

2025 Apr 25: 02:46
WHY ARE THERE BIRDS ALREADY??? its the middle of the fckunig night! in other news, i played Doom again for the first time in 2 years. just a map pack that i made, but it still makes me think about all the bad things that happened in 2023 that made me quit playing. nope. nope, i can't ever play it again.

2025 Apr 22: 17:56
DAMN I FORGOT!! i can't shut that line down because welfare. SHIT. I had to ring and turn it back on. So much for the featurephone :(

2025 Apr 22: 17:37
I'm dephoned! I termed my data plan about an hour ago and I'm gonna get a featurephone sometime next week. In the meantime, my roommate agreed to let me use her phone for important calls, but my wireless bill went from $104 to $55 and nullified my Google advertising ID!

2025 Apr 22: 00:36
giving serious consideration to covering "red light" by siouxsie and the banshees. I kinda want to do the lyrics in the sluttiest possible way i know how :P it's not hard to play fortunately, it's in... um... G? i think?

2025 Apr 22: 00:01
Why is it more dangerous than the most evil dictator? Because withholding support on the conditions that the recipient thinks the same way I think and believes the same things I believe are exactly how dictators rise to power.

2025 Apr 21: 23:55
Yes, I think Pope Francis was a gay-hating antisemite who believed transgender people were preaching corruption to children. No, I'm not going to unfollow or block anyone who's eulogising him on main. What is this, the Hundred Years War? The idea that everyone needs to think alike in order to fit into a support structure is more dangerous than the most evil dictator.

2025 Apr 20: 04:56
This has to be a bad dream. I don't see what else this could be. It surely can't be for real. Surely, the United States isn't going to be a fascist military dictatorship by this time on Tuesday. Sleep paralysis, that's what this is. I'll wake up in a minute or two and start forgetting the dream i had. That has to be it. It's too surreal, too absurd to actually be happening. No, I don't accept it. This is an illusion, it surely must be an illusion.

2025 Apr 17: 18:28
It's interesting how accurate of a barometre teenaged humans can be. I heard rhythmic car horn honking, then several bloodcurdling screams from a few high school girls, then a boy trying to sound like a fox calling for its mate. 3 minutes later, tornado sirens go off. Merits further study what the weather does to a teenager. Might need to post a local weather bureau office inside a high school someday. They can take over the Truant Officer's office.

2025 Apr 17: 14:01
For an illusion, this sure is worrying me. Now I know how my mum must have felt the first time I went for a walk around the block by myself when I was a kid. Is she hurt? Is she in any danger? Is she even still alive? Of course I was all of those things, it was just maternal instinct causing her to think that.

2025 Apr 17: 13:08
I certainly am good at making myself worry about things that don't exist anywhere except in my imagination, aren't I? This new thought is giving me acid indigestion. I'm not saying what it is because it's completely illusory and doesn't need to be validated.

2025 Apr 12: 10:15
Tonight is the passover seder. Passover has hit different since October 2023... how can I feel justified in reclining comfortably, eating matzah, and reminding myself how bad the Jews of ould had it when everyone in the world, Jews and goyim alike, are trying their damndest to wipe out all Palestinians? Under Biden, it was just Israel, but Trump's schutzstaffel are straight-up vanishing and unpersoning people with Palestinian heritage. I sit here eating matzo-ball soup while entire Palestinian families are gunned down as they have to conduct something resembling a football scrum just to come away with a 5-pound sack of flour. Then I'm supposed to wash my hands of the whole situation in the urchatz basin. Fuck that shit and fuck everyone who can do it.

2025 Apr 8: 10:16
I was seriously considering shutting this website down earlier this morning, to the point I even made an alternate index page just to see how it would look if I purged all the content. I know a couple of people on this host who have done a similar thing, and I'm not going to talk down to them about this. It's their site, it's their decision, it's okay that they decided to purge their sites for protection against the National American Zionist Imperium. However, I am not prepared to take my site offline in this way. Tumblr's staff has been reduced to a skeleton crew of 18 transphobic moderators and 2 interns to handle the technical stuff, so it's not long for this world. Cohost shut down because they didn't let money corrupt their morals. Rednote is a non-starter, not because it's Chinese, but because it's too similar to Tiktok for my liking. Where does that leave me? Here. If my end is to be met at the muzzle of an Innocent Civilian Execution agency gun, so be it. I see federal policymakers use phrases like "gender ideology" and that just strengthens my resolve to be the roofing nail stuck in the tyre of their Cybertruck. This website will remain online in perpetuity, both here on this host and on personal archives across the world.
I will not silence myself to elevate the words of my assassins.

2025 Apr 6: 03:53
apparently the modthesims content police didn't like how i included ossie and felicity with rockwell acres and deleted that listing. sucks to be them i guess because i put the house and its occupants, along with all my other sims 4 houses onto the internet archive a couple months ago. you can't have rockwell acres without ossie and felicity, that's like buying a cereal box without cereal in it! and who's gonna waste their time darting about to page after page just to assemble a set? as we used to say in the old country, ain't no one got time for that. antisemitic ass website anyway, with hairy pothole fan mods and people putting 1488 into their screen names. fuck that site and their "it's not that deep" content moderation for absolute real.

2025 Apr 3: 07:52
OH AND NOW I SEE NINTENDO IS MAKING A NEW IP ABOUT WHEELCHAIR BASKETBALL!! predatory ass behaviour. "Oh aren't we so wonderful and inclusive? buy our hideously expensive console with its amazon and google ad integration and spyware and online anti-piracy checking, buy buy buy."

2025 Apr 3: 07:33
Tumblr is so completely surreal right now. It's the only relatively safe outlet for Palestinians to ask for help. They have to post heart-rending pictures of destruction and injury in order to get a couple people to reblog their donation posts before the moderators nuke their accounts and they remake under the same name with a different number next to it. TUmblr could be making headlines for its philanthropy, but the guy who owns it sucks Elon's cock. The site plans a big april fool's prank at the same time they're rolling out a new aesthetic feature and neither one is implemented properly because the intern who made the change just got there last week and next week will be working at Facebook. Tumblr could be the best-looking social media site on the internet, but the guy who owns it sucks Elon's cock. What used to be hailed as the "queerest place on the internet" is still called that by people who hate transgender people. At the same time 50 Palestinians are trying to get a dollar from enough people to buy a single bag of flour by posting tales of abject horror of seeing their parents and children torn apart before their eyes, the Fandom account is playing the hurdy-gurdy loudly enough to be distracting while waving pictures of cats and motorcycles in our faces, people are licking Nintendo's boots all the way clean, blazed posts from Moms For Liberty are splintering queer americans from the democratic party, and 250 trans girls get nuked for saying "hi" out loud. Tumblr is the poster-child for late capitalist dada revivalism, because the guy who owns it sucks Elon's cock.

2025 Apr 3: 07:02
dont get me wrong though. i like the fact that most people are conditioned enough to buy nintendo shit legitimately. it takes the heat off emulation if the company investors turn a profit. for every 200 people buying everything nintendo sells, theres 1 person ripping that stuff off.

2025 Apr 3: 02:01
OH EXCUSE ME. the gamecube games aren't locked behind an additional tier on NSO+EP. well try this on for size... NSO+EP SHOULD NOT EXIST IN THE FIRST PLACE. you are quite literally subscribing to a service TWICE. "but deltarune, but tomodachi life 2, but but but!" whatever. enjoy having less than no money, im gonna be over here playing Wind Waker on Dolphin (and my classic wii if i can ever get her working again).

2025 Apr 3: 01:17
The Switch2 is going to cost $450, physical media is now gone, DLC-only games starting at $80 per license, constant internet connectivity will be required for anti-piracy measures to run, and GameCube games will be added to a new tier of NSO+EP that costs an additional $50 on top of the base subscription and the expansion pack, but Tomodachi Life 2 and Deltarune as launch titles so everything is all right and Nintendo isn't trying to parasitically absorb your money... because it would be faster to tell your employer to simply make your paycheque out to Nintendo.

2025 Apr 1: 03:51
im looking on neocities' activity page and seeing all these elaborate april fool pranks. like people suddenly announcing a partnership with chatgpt or a couple people making their sites look like crypto investors, and then of course people pretending to go on indefinite hiatus, people making their entry pages look like it leads to other sites, all that kind of thing. i don't do any of that. last year, i played no pranks at all. this year my "prank" was changing the colour of my homepage background from "extremely light grey" to "pure white", which you probably wouldn't notice if it weren't for the spongebob meme. with me anyway, april fools day isn't kosher. it's hard on people with dissociative or delusion disorders or are on certain bits of the autism spectrum. it's hard to remember all these names and dates sometimes and, really, you can be 100% neurotypical and still forget about april fools day, then get the shit scared out of you when you go to start up an important computer program and it pretends to crash your computer or something like that. i remember in high school, a girl faked her own death on april fools and it gave her mom a real actual heart attack. while there's no assurance i can make that you can trust, i haven't done anything else but change the colour of my homepage background. no rickrolls, no screamers, no snuff.

2025 Apr 1: 00:10
On this day in 2024, federiefederi pretended to convert their website into something like the old Neocities Districts that paved the way for their destruction. They advertised it as something like "big changes to the website" and then renamed all their directories so you couldn't access the rest of their site. Half the people following them were convinced they got "districted" (ie. put on "hiatus" and then abandoned), a quarter of them remembered it was April Fool's Day, and the other quarter didnt' care. Anyway, they used their big comeback after the prank ran its course to transition seamlessly into the clout-chasing scheme. Slightly more than 2 weeks later, they were gone.